Lance loves the water bucket.. He dunked his head in it like 4 times and kept blowing bubbles.. I love this horse so much
the bath time pout. #pitbull #americanbulldog #adoptdontshop #rescue #lovernotafighter #dontbullymybreed #pitsofinstagram #bathtime #pout #sulk #poorbaby
you know i always heard that pregnancy was a beautiful and wonderful thing, and all i have to say is whoever said that is a liar. don’t get me wrong, i’m excited to be expecting a daughter. i’m more in love with a tiny baby who isn’t even born yet more than i’ve ever loved another being but all of that, doesn’t mean pregnancy is a fun experience. sure, for some women it truly can be, but yet, they never seem to mention how it can be for other women (like myself) which is horrible.
i’ve been through a lot in my own personal life. fought a lot of battles, gained quite a few scars but i made it out alive. i never once thought about pregnancy being one of them but it has definitely turned into one. for the longest time, i thought i was a bad person for feeling this way about pregnancy. i thought something was wrong with me for not enjoying this (for me) once in a lifetime experience but then i realized, i’m not alone in feeling like this.
besides for the obvious pregnancy struggles such as swollen feet, the constant random aches from your baby being positioned funny or laying on your scadia nerve, the constant headache, the morning battle of trying to take your zofran before you puke up everything in your stomach left over from the day before, the aching back from suddenly carrying so much weight in one specific area, the knife piercing like growing pains you get in your breast that absolutely NOTHING can help, there’s a whole other side of it. the mental side of it.
as i’ve said, i’ve fought a lot of battles in my life from eating disorders, to mental disabilities to self harm and i’ve overcome every single one of them and never looked back - until now. its very hard to explain to someone who has never been in these places how challenging they are, but they can be the most painful and consuming experiences of a life. now being pregnant, i’m faced with a whole new set of issues on top of the physical pregnancy pains. i made the decision when i found out i was pregnant to stop taking my zoloft on the simple reasoning of i got spooked by one of those lawyer commercials asking me the night i found out, “did you take zoloft while pregnant? does your child have birth defects? we can help you!” well, as of right then and there, i figured i’d stop taking my zoloft until after birth and then get back on it. besides, i’d gone years without medicine to treat myself. i can do it again.
well, i didn’t take into account that my hormones and thought process was already dramatically changed due to pregnancy and not taking my medicine on top of it, has been a very long and draining uphill battle. i’m doing well, but there are definitely times where i break down crying because it all just seems so difficult. i’m faced with a constant trigger of gaining weight, which i understand is natural and healthy during pregnancy, but you have to remember. this connects to something very dark in my past that will always be a part of me even once i’ve beat it. i have to deal with the fact that i am no longer in control of what i want to eat, of what i can eat, ect. i’m faced with everything being more difficult and mentally exhausting than it ever has been before in my life. i look forward to september more than i’ve ever looked forward to anything in my life, first, because i get to meet my perfect little daughter and second, because i’ll never be pregnant again. hello only child!
besides for the issues of that there is no control over, the one issue there is control over is how other people who are directly involved with the pregnancy treat me in the difficult times and how they help me. and lately, that’s been the biggest and worst issue of them all. i know men will never fully understand what it is like to be pregnant and all the changes it puts you through, under and around, but the one thing i do EXPECT is that they act aware of it and help the best they can. when a man doesn’t do this, it makes everything so much worse. normally i can be the bigger person and solve the issue, but at this point, i’ve got so many other goddamn issues to worry about - YOU should not be one of them. YOU should be a help to these issues, a temporary break from these issues, but instead, you add problems and at this point in time, i don’t need more issues than the ones i HAVE to deal with, and if i can CHOOSE not to deal with you, i’m going too. i don’t expect perfection but i expect decency, because it’s really not asking much.
/rant
There once was a young boy with a very bad temper. The boy’s father wanted to teach him a lesson, so he gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper he must hammer a nail into their wooden fence.
On the first day of this lesson, the little boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. He was really mad!
Over the course of the next few weeks, the little boy began to control his temper, so the number of nails that were hammered into the fence dramatically decreased.
It wasn’t long before the little boy discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Then, the day finally came when the little boy didn’t lose his temper even once, and he became so proud of himself, he couldn’t wait to tell his father.
Pleased, his father suggested that he now pull out one nail for each day that he could hold his temper.
Several weeks went by and the day finally came when the young boy was able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
Very gently, the father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
“You have done very well, my son,” he smiled, “but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.”
The little boy listened carefully as his father continued to speak.
“When you say things in anger, they leave permanent scars just like these. And no matter how many times you say you’re sorry, the wounds will still be there.”
wow
